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绿底为优美，黄底为瑕疵，红底为错字（括号里边为间批），中间横线为删除，^{上标符号添加字}，文下隔行写点评，点评内容用红字，红双线“‖”处段另起（分段）.

 

ｕｎｉｔ　ｏｎｅ

发布时间：2013-10-11 17:28:29 作者：刘柄辰  发布者：２０１３６０５０ 浏览次数：2493  类别：中文作文  

 Hi, Dave I met two interesting people at the conference.
Barbara Grunewald is from Germany. She is a sales manager. Her office is in Hamburg. Business is good at moment. She is outgoing and get well with others. I believe her, and I think she will do well in the job. I believe we will have a happy partnership. And the other people I like is a Chinese women. Her name is Lili Wen. She is an accountant. Her office is in Heilongjiang Province. She is strict with work. What she like is just we really need. She is also a good women, and really be intrested in our company. I think if we have them help, we will do better on company. CBT Systems GmbH really need them.
What do you think ? Back to me soon, wish your email.
Yours, Viola.

• 批改教师：陈伟 ( 山东省 >> 烟台市 >> 烟台工贸技师学院 )
  批改时间：2013/10/12 22:02:48
  点评指数：
  点评内容：
  

   Hi, Dave.

  I met two interesting people at the conference. ^{: Barbara Grunewald and  Lili Wen.} Barbara Grunewald^{,a sales manager,} is from Germany., She is a sales manager. Her ^whose office is in Hamburg. ^Her B^business is good at ^the moment. , ^{partly because} She is outgoing and ^could get ^on well with others. I believe her, and I think she will do well in the job. I believe we will have a happy partnership. And the other people I like is a Chinese women. Her name is , Lili Wen. , She ^who is an accountant. , ^with H^her office is in Heilongjiang Province. She is strict with ^{in her} work. What she like is just we really need. She is also a good women, and really be intrested in our company.

   I think if ^{they could join and help us,} we have them help, we will do better on company. 

  CBT Systems GmbH really need^s them.What ^How do you think ? 

  Back to me soon, wish your email.^{I'm really looking forward to hearing from you soon.}
  Yours, Viola.

  点评：在语言的整体组织使用上，还需要稍加推敲。尽量使文章表述准确顺畅。