交文友,学写作,就到作文批改网! | 收藏本站专版专栏 |RSS订阅     欢迎,朋友 | 免费注册会员登录
 
设为首页
收藏本站
会员中心
批改符号说明:

绿底为优美黄底为瑕疵红底为错字(括号里边为间批)中间横线为删除上标符号添加字文下隔行写点评,点评内容用红字,红双线‖”处段另起(分段).

 

Influence of Commercial Fishing
发布时间:2015-10-18 13:47:19 作者:袁露菲  发布者:JeanNo3 浏览次数:2958  类别:英文作文  
[大学五年级] 辽宁省 >> 沈阳市 >> 新城子区 >> 虎石台街


Apparently, it is shown in the picture that one boat caught numbers of fishes in 1900 while in 1995 the phenomenon was on the contary,which implies that over-fishing is becoming an issue.
The brief history of world commercial fishing indicates the result of over-fishing, which caused many problems of environment and economy. In the first place, sharp cut-off of marine organism would result in broken ecological balance, including an excess of aquatic plant followed with water polluted. In the second place, fishery without limits does not fit for sustainable development.
Thus, policies and regulations should be taken to impose restrictions on fishing. At the same time, making the commercial fishermen realise the harm of unplaned fish-catching is another point government should emphasis on. Only through these ways can human beings benefit from the nature for a long time.

教师点评:
  • 批改教师:王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
    批改时间:2015/10/19 8:49:17
    点评指数:
    点评内容:

    Apparently, the ratio between fish and fishers has changed greatly within a hundred years. There were various kinds of fish in the sea and few fishing-boats in early years of 20th century, while boats in amounting numbers in contrast with scarce fish in 1995.(语句有些罗嗦,用It is shown in the picture that one boat caught numbers of fishes in 1900 while in 1995 the phenomenon was on the contary.表达会更简洁,之后加上一个非限制性定语从句which inplies that over-fishing is becoming an issue.既说明了画的内容也点明了画的主旨。
    The brief history of world commercial fishing indicates the result of over-fishing, which caused many problems of environment and economy. In the first place, sharp cut-off of marine organism would result in broken ecological balance, including an excess of aquatic plant followed with water polluted. In the second place, fishery without limits does not fit for sustainable development.[导致的影响不全面,一个是导致食物链(food chain)失衡,再者是对生物族群进行了自然选择,改变了动物习性,使得原本食肉的鱼类没有东西吃了就可能转而进攻人类。]
    Thus, policies and regulations should be taken to impose restrictions on fishing. At the same time, making the commercial fishermen realise the harm of unplaned fish-catching is another point government should emphasis on. Only through these ways can human beings benefit from the nature for a long time.[写得比较笼统,不具体。例如可以写改变一些传统习惯(例如日本每年要捕鲸,加拿大每年要屠杀海豹),大力发展近海养殖技术,减少对大洋鱼类的依赖等。]

李之怡 共164篇 推荐7 优秀5
姜恩泽 共108篇 推荐22 优秀10
刘鼎轩 共98篇 推荐36 优秀24
马维霞 共80篇 推荐0 优秀1
陈永娟 共64篇 推荐15 优秀9
江秋 共63篇 推荐2 优秀2
陈乐乐 共60篇 推荐3 优秀0
胡豆儿 共59篇 推荐9 优秀7
房云玲 共57篇 推荐47 优秀5
董千里 共55篇 推荐30 优秀22
友情链接:百度   新华网   人民网   中国政府网   凤凰网   央视网  卫星地图  大师邦
关于本站 | 合作加盟 | 积分计划 | 联系我们 | 投稿须知 | 版权声明 | 问题解答
作文批改网 www.duzhenfang.com 地址:山东省临沂市罗庄区 电话:13864984078.
备案编号:鲁ICP备12014725号-1,设计制作:作文批改网
242.188毫秒