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The Internet
发布时间:2015-10-22 20:59:21 作者:袁露菲  发布者:JeanNo3 浏览次数:3550  类别:英文作文  
[大学五年级] 辽宁省 >> 沈阳市 >> 新城子区 >> 虎石台街


Separated by a stretching spider web, a mounting numbers of citizens are surfing online, in purpose of communicating with each other. And below the cartoon, there is an implicit caption which implies,"To be close to others and to be far away from them at the same time with the Internet."

The intention of the portrayal is to subtly and symbolically depict the increasing dependence on the Internet in this modern age, which is not only of a marvelous significance but followed by several social problems as well. On the one hand, the convenience reflected in the timely communication with people all around the world and in the ample access to information shows its advantage that beyond doubt. On the other hand, original social intercourse is gradually displaced with virtual interaction, somehow leading to their descending ability to contact with people face to face.

As the basic analysis mentioned above, appropriate attitude towards the Internet should be taken in order to utilise it in an advantageous way. For instance, time limitation ought to be put into practice when seeking for services provided online in case those who are short of self-control get indulged. Only in this way can web users assure themselves a network environment of utmost benefit.

教师点评:
  • 批改教师:王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
    批改时间:2015/11/1 11:38:48
    点评指数:
    点评内容:

    Separated by a stretching spider web, a mounting numbers of citizens are surfing online, in purpose of (with the purpose of) communicating (用词太泛,chatting就可以了)with each other. And below the cartoon, there is an implicit caption which implies,"To be close to others and to be far away from them at the same time with the Internet."

    The intention of the portrayal (picture) is to subtly and symbolically depict the increasing dependence on the Internet in this modern age, which is not only of a marvelous significance but followed by (表达太啰嗦,用severe with即可)several social problems as well . On the one hand, the convenience is reflected in the timely communication with people all around the world and in the ample access to information shows its advantage that beyond doubt. On the other hand, original (用conventional比较好,意思是“传统的”)social intercourse is gradually displaced with (by) virtual interaction, somehow leading to their ability to contact with people face to face descending.

    As the basic analysis mentioned above, appropriate attitude towards the Internet should be taken (held) in order to utilise it in an advantageous way. For instance, time limitation ought to be put into practice when seeking for services provided online in case those who are short of self-control get indulged. Only in this way can web users assure themselves a network environment of utmost benefit.

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