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College

发布时间：2012-12-30 19:52:50 作者：谭兵  发布者：1914045297 浏览次数：2899  类别：英文作文  

  Everybody has a dream about the university besides me, some people think it's a place which to get frisnds with, while others have different opinions, as to studying, learning social skills and ext.  

  In the first place, college provide a great environment for us to learning. 

  The secondly, college play an improtant role on a country,it's a good reason that  a majority of balents are needed for all kinds of compares who are from universitys.

 Last but not least, college is a place where to exchange ideas ang emotions, we can learn a great deal of knowledges and skills.

• 批改教师：冯琼英 ( 山东省 >> 临沂市 >> 罗庄区 >> 黄山镇 >> 黄山镇英语备课组 )
  批改时间：2012/12/30 22:36:53
  点评指数：
  点评内容：
  

    Everybody has a dream about the university besides me, some people think it's a place which to get frisnds with(where we can make friends), while others have different opinions, as to studying, learning social skills and ext.  

    In the first place, (Firstly,)college provide a great environment for us to learning(learn). 

    The secondly, college play an improtant role on a country,it's a good reason that a majority of balents are needed for all kinds of compares who are from universitys.

   Last but not least, college is a place where to exchange ideas ang emotions, we can learn a great deal of knowledges and skills.

   可以用简单的短句表达意思，继续努力奥！

• 批改教师：王思捷 ( 作文批改网 )
  批改时间：2013/1/5 13:41:10
  点评指数：
  点评内容：
  

    Everybody has a dream about the university besides me，（此处标点符号不正确，用句号） some people think it's a place which to get（make） frisnds with,（加上each other） while others have different opinions, as to （改为such as）studying, learning social skills and ext. （加上so on或者把and去掉加逗号和etc.） 

    In the first place, college provide（第三人称单数，加s） a great environment for us to learning. 

    The secondly, college play （第三人称单数，加s）an improtant role on a country，it's a good reason that  a majority of balents are needed for all kinds of compares who are from universitys.（逗号改为句号）

   Last but not least, college is a place where to exchange ideas ang emotions, we can learn a great deal of knowledges （作“知识”讲为不可数名词，去掉s）and skills.（把to去掉）

  综合评价：本文缺乏基本的英语文章写作常识，思维深度十分有限，不像大学二年级应该具有的，作者应该也不是英语专业的学生。

• 批改教师：李晨超 ( )
  批改时间：2013/2/15 16:24:32
  点评指数：
  点评内容：
  

  Everybody has a dream about the university besides me，（此处标点符号不正确，用句号） some people think it's a place which to get（make） frisnds with,（加上each other） while others have different opinions, as to （改为such as）studying, learning social skills and ext. （加上so on或者把and去掉加逗号和etc.）

  In the first place, college provide（第三人称单数，加s） a great environment for us to learning.

  The secondly, college play （第三人称单数，加s）an improtant role on a country，it's a good reason that a majority of balents are needed for all kinds of compares who are from universitys.（逗号改为句号）

  Last but not least, college is a place where to exchange ideas ang emotions, we can learn a great deal of knowledges （作“知识”讲为不可数名词，去掉s）and skills.（把to去掉）

  点评：继续努力！